hazzan Diana Brewer was ordained through the aleph ordination program. she leads prayer services regularly at the jewish community of amherst, and is on the staff of the davvenen leadership training institute.

Omer Day 44 גבורה שבמלכות Gevurah SheBeMalchut

Strength. Discernment. Structure. Judgement. Withholding. Discipline. Boundaries within Reality. Actualization. Shekhina. Revealed Word. Sovereignty. Selfitude.

Sunday, June 2

Selfitude? Huh? Selfitude is a word I coined somewhere along the way in these writings over the years. I would be hard-pressed to recall when it first announced itself, but I think I can pin it to the idea of Actualization. As in, when we are most fully Actualized, we posses maximum Selfitude. As I write, I also recall its relation to Sovereignty. As in, when I am in my fullest Selfitude, I have Sovereignty, free agency that is born of a confidence that my Self is A-OK, even if I am just a little twig stump in the river of Life.

Why all this about Selfitude tonight? It’s just what came to mind when I started thinking about Gevurah SheBeMachut. It seems to me that Selfitude is very much related to the Strength it takes to set Boundaries. It is the Discernment that differentiates me from you, when it is important. An example: I have written in these pages of a darker time in my life, when signs were not pointing towards good outcomes for me. One of the features of that time in my life was an apparent lack of opinions. It could be as simple as something like this: Friend says, “Did you like the movie?” I reply: “Did YOU like it?” Sounds like a small thing, but that little conversation embodies a much deeper problem. I lacked Selfitude. 

Actualization, Revelation, Realization - all these things take Discipline, Strength, and Discernment. When I keep these qualities alive, I can continue to cultivate the Selfitude that makes me the expression of Divinity that G*d was hoping for when G*d thought, “Gee, I could use a Diana around here!” 

May you be blessed with the Strength to cultivate those qualities that make you YOU. May your Discipline of thought Reveal your optimum Reality. May the Strength of your Selfitude grow into the intention of the Revealed Word that is You.

Omer Day 45 תפארת שבמלכות Tiferet SheBeMalchut

Omer Day 43 חסד שבמלכות Chesed SheBeMalchut